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Is Happiness Overrated? 

There is an old story of a monk who lived outside a small village. One day the villagers came to see him with news that a young girl had been found to be pregnant. She claimed he was the father.
The monk responded, "Is that so?"

Upon its birth a baby boy was brought to the monk. The villagers explained, "The young girl is incapable of raising him herself and her family has shunned them. Since you are the father, he is now your responsibility."

The monk responded, "Is that so?"

Over the next several years the monk raised the boy with kindness and compassion. Until one day when the villagers returned. "The young girl has admitted to another man being the father of her child. His family is willing to take them both in. Therefore, we have come to retrieve the child."

The monk responded, "Is that so?"

It is easy in the story to read the monk as a tragic figure. He is accused, taken advantage of, and then summarily dismissed. It is easy to argue he has every reason to be unhappy. Yet, his mantric response suggests otherwise.
   Think how you might respond to each circumstance the monk faced. Think how easy it would be to deny the accusations, make excuses to avoid taking reponsibility, and otherwise defend yourself from untruths and disagreements. Consider that you do these things every day in response to much less onerous tasks and responsibilities than those facing the monk.
   Then consider, even if you are right and your motivations pure, and your excuses and rationalizations deflect negative circumstances; does that make you happy? You may rejoice in a positive outcome, but the overall effect is negative. What moves you to do so? It is because the need to adopt a defensive stance is based on negative energy, or fear. How can you be happy if fear guides your responses?
   Taking an offensive approach is no better. It is just another way to establish dominance over an opponent, and the joy is just as fleeting.

Most people consider Happiness to be the absence of Wanting. An alternative is to consider Happiness the absence of Fear. The absence of Wanting is a type of happiness that is overrated. In general, it means you are unappreciative or dis-satisfied with what you have; whether it be money, possessions, skills, recognition, relationships, spirituality, etc. The related Fear is that someone else has more or is better. That is what makes Envy a mortal sin.

Is the monk happy? It's tempting from our own perspective to wonder how he possibly could be. But the story provides no evidence that he is unhappy.
   Happiness for the monk is expressed in his ability to accept what Is. He responds without fear. There is no need to defend himself because he knows himself and his truth; and his lack of Wanting makes it unnecessary for him to convince anyone else. Accepting the boy represents neither loss nor gain in a life without Wanting; the monk simplify rearranges his life. And the same is true when the boy is taken away.

As you experience conflict over the coming days and weeks, consider how your response is an expression of Wanting. What is it you Want? Is it something you really need, or something you simply envy in others? Those who spend the most effort seeking happiness often have the hardest time finding it. When you stop looking, you may find you already have it. Now, say after me, "Is that so?"       
 

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