After Forgiveness, Reconciliation
Forgiveness is a solo proposition. You do not need someone else's permission or participation in order to forgive them. But if you desire to maintain an ongoing relationship with someone you have forgiven, that takes two. Reconciliation requires acknowledge, on both sides, of forgiveness and the harm that made it necessary. Forgiveness does not require a harm to be forgotten; but, rather, that you find a way to get past it in the interest of sustaining a positive relationship. That usually requires identifying emotional components, such as ego and fear, that contributed to negative feelings.
01:34 Nelson Mandela's release from prison
04:54 What comes after forgiveness
05:38 Fess up, Own up, Clean up
10:56 Reconciliation takes two: Forgiveness takes one
13:22 Practical Reconciliation
14:11 Mitigate fear
17:02 Find a way to reconnect
21:27 Dr Kweethai's mantra
24:53 Self-discipline and ego
31:04 From Wanting to Choosing
33:42 To see good in others, see good in yourself
39:39 Responsibility to forgive mere passersby?
40:40 Forgive me vs I'm sorry
42:39 Bonus: What Dr Kweethai does with red envelopes she receives
Emotional Competency: Negotiating with your Self
Ego. Faith. Truth. Healing. Balance. Peace. Inner voice. Dr Kweethai solicited words from her Zoom viewers; then extemporaneously pieced them together, arriving at emotional competency.
We struggle to cope with what life throws at us when we are deaf to internal feelings. In other words, we comply with social expectations of what we 'should' feel, rather than what we actually feel.
For peace of mind, first find your own truth, then use that inner voice to make better decisions in your own best interest.
00:57 Things that life throws at us - Words to build on
01:56 Story: Father's grand plan for his children to attend English universities
05:33 Plans amount to tight little boxes
06:22 Rinse and repeat with the next generation. But is that any way to make a life!
07:54 Avoid living a life planned by others
08:54 Ego: Taught to be a prostitute for affection
12:44 Inner voice: Happiness is in the DNA, but children are programmed to ignore it
13:44 Peace of mind: Alignment with inner voice
17:05 Balance: Cannot win every time
18:34 Inner voice vs Ego: Sacred self vs Public self
19:33 Truth: Who do you think you are?
19:49 Story: Paying for an undercharged chicken
22:23 Karmic debt: Can't live crooked and think straight
23:03 Faith and Healing
24:39 Healed vs Cured: the hazard of complacency
25:29 Parallel to politics and voting
27:30 Faith: Faith begins where reason ends
28:28 Good science is constantly changing
30:34 First, find your truth
31:00 People with no faith are full of themselves
33:56 Follow-up thoughts: People who enjoy arguing (big ego)
34:26 A deal needs to be balanced
35:48 Emotional Competency
38:00 Meditation on self love
Fracture a fairy tale: Humpty Dumpty had a great day
The dystopian orientation of fairy tales is lost on children, who see the world in rosier terms. But cynicism, adopted in adolescence and solidified throughout adulthood, need not be a permanent condition. It is possible to transmute the energy of fear back into love; to regain the optimism of the childlike self. The capability to 'write your own story' is there; requiring only that you make that choice and act on it.
00:10 Picking up granddaughter from preschool; misreading Humpty Humpty
14:00 Implications for mediation
17:50 How to shift from "...had a great fall..." to "...had a great day..."
19:16 Transmute fear to love
24:50 Make a choice; you are not your past
32:04 Write your own story
33:15 Consider the third solution
35:28 You can stop the train wreck
34:03 Use your voice productively