iChange with Dr Kweethai

After Forgiveness, Reconciliation

Forgiveness is a solo proposition. You do not need someone else's permission or participation in order to forgive them. But if you desire to maintain an ongoing relationship with someone you have forgiven, that takes two. Reconciliation requires acknowledge, on both sides, of forgiveness and the harm that made it necessary. Forgiveness does not require a harm to be forgotten; but, rather, that you find a way to get past it in the interest of sustaining a positive relationship. That usually requires identifying emotional components, such as ego and fear, that contributed to negative feelings. 


00:06   Reconciliation

01:34   Nelson Mandela's release from prison

03:03   Forgiveness

04:54   What comes after forgiveness

05:38   Fess up, Own up, Clean up

07:06   Reconciliation

09:21   Agreement

10:56   Reconciliation takes two: Forgiveness takes one

13:22   Practical Reconciliation

14:11   Mitigate fear

17:02   Find a way to reconnect

21:27   Dr Kweethai's mantra

24:53   Self-discipline and ego

31:04   From Wanting to Choosing

33:42   To see good in others, see good in yourself

39:39   Responsibility to forgive mere passersby?

40:40   Forgive me vs I'm sorry

42:39   Bonus: What Dr Kweethai does with red envelopes she receives

Emotional Competency: Negotiating with your Self

Ego. Faith. Truth. Healing. Balance. Peace. Inner voice. Dr Kweethai solicited words from her Zoom viewers; then extemporaneously pieced them together, arriving at emotional competency.

We struggle to cope with what life throws at us when we are deaf to internal feelings. In other words, we comply with social expectations of what we 'should' feel, rather than what we actually feel.

For peace of mind, first find your own truth, then use that inner voice to make better decisions in your own best interest. 


00:57   Things that life throws at us - Words to build on

01:56   Story: Father's grand plan for his children to attend English universities

05:33   Plans amount to tight little boxes

06:22   Rinse and repeat with the next generation. But is that any way to make a life!

07:54   Avoid living a life planned by others

08:54   Ego: Taught to be a prostitute for affection

12:44   Inner voice: Happiness is in the DNA, but children are programmed to ignore it

13:44   Peace of mind: Alignment with inner voice

14:33   Negotiations

17:05   Balance: Cannot win every time

18:34   Inner voice vs Ego: Sacred self vs Public self

19:33   Truth: Who do you think you are?

19:49   Story: Paying for an undercharged chicken

22:23   Karmic debt: Can't live crooked and think straight

23:03   Faith and Healing

24:39   Healed vs Cured: the hazard of complacency

25:29   Parallel to politics and voting

27:30   Faith: Faith begins where reason ends

28:28   Good science is constantly changing

30:34   First, find your truth

31:00   People with no faith are full of themselves

33:56   Follow-up thoughts: People who enjoy arguing (big ego)

34:26   A deal needs to be balanced

35:48   Emotional Competency

38:00   Meditation on self love

Fracture a fairy tale: Humpty Dumpty had a great day

The dystopian orientation of fairy tales is lost on children, who see the world in rosier terms. But cynicism, adopted in adolescence and solidified throughout adulthood, need not be a permanent condition. It is possible to transmute the energy of fear back into love; to regain the optimism of the childlike self. The capability to 'write your own story' is there; requiring only that you make that choice and act on it. 


00:10   Picking up granddaughter from preschool; misreading Humpty Humpty

14:00   Implications for mediation

17:50   How to shift from "...had a great fall..." to "...had a great day..."

19:16   Transmute fear to love

24:50   Make a choice; you are not your past

32:04   Write your own story

33:15   Consider the third solution

35:28   You can stop the train wreck

34:03   Use your voice productively

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